Zoom in the object called my "HEAD"!!

Eight Walls

2010-12-05T06:55:00.003-06:00

I'm standing in the center of a room with eight walls. Each one has a color of its own and a door of its own. I stand at the center of the room. The walls start spinning around. Slow, fast, faster, faster. The colors blend into each other.I try to run to the door but get thrown back everytime I run towards the door. Cannot understand anything. Things moving fast around!

Happy Friendship Day!

2010-08-01T07:59:00.001-05:00

I received two cards for friendship day! One of which was made by me! (Ah! Never mind!). Really touched! (Teary eyes!)

Happy Friendship Day readers! Love you all!

Pastry

2010-07-19T05:33:00.002-05:00

Aarrgghh! They're drilling the floor above mine! Got a headache. Going to eat a pastry..anyone joining?

The Not-So-Green Other Side

2010-07-16T04:06:00.003-05:00

Dayaram sleepily watched as his sheep lazily munched on the not-so-green grass. His dhoti, once-white, was draped with the excellence of an expert. I wondered whether I would recognize him if he wore pants! With his once-green turban tilting down to one side and his face, having more wrinkles than the number of folds in his turban, he sat perched on a not-so-high rock tearing out of the Earth and projecting itself in sheer revolution! Dayaram didn't seem to revolt though. He seemed in a state of semi-nirvana. Above the world just him and his sheep. They're addictive. Sheep.

Talking about sheep, as I have seen them since my childhood, they're creatures that emit huge amounts of boredom. The kinds that will make you yawn. They don't even have a singular (or plural, either ways) noun for themselves! Nothing personal against them though, besides lambs have even succeeded in looking cute at times! That's quite an achievement.

There wasn't much difference between Dayaram and me. Just a mug of hot chocolate and a glass window, I was on one side of it and he on the other, that's it. And the sheep. He owned them and watched them and I simply watched them.

With squinted eyes, as I tried to count the sheep, I subconciously wished I was on Dayarams side of the difference. Perched on the not-so-high, revolting rock, thinking of the unthinkable, watching my sheep munching on the not-so-green grass.

Aah! Finally Back!

2010-07-16T01:20:00.002-05:00

Feels like sucking in large amounts of oxygen again! How I missed blogging! Life is good! Really good! Touch wood! Wriggled out a way to blog somehow! Hoping to get regular again. Touch wood again!

Standing on a lush green mountain peak with the wind blowing right in my face! "Aaaaaaaa.." I shout out as loud as I can, hand spread out over the sides as if directing the sound where to travel. My voice echoes around me! I smile! This feels really great!

:)

Its Been Oh-So-Long!

2010-05-22T07:14:00.003-05:00

Sad that I cannot blog often these days! No access to blogger from office! I have a million stories to tell! Hoping to get regular on the blog asap again!

The White Cloud

2010-04-23T23:53:00.002-05:00

The white sand-like cloud in the sky floated weightlessly! While black clouds carry rains, the white ones carry memories. At least my memories. They're like these huge baskets holding pure, white memories of all people in the world. When you watch one up in the sky, the granules of the memory drops in your eyes and there, you have a memory drawn on the invisible canvas that rests behind every set of eyelids.

This time I watch my rommie praying. Eyes tightly shut, head lowered, and fingers curled around one another. I often wondered what she prays for and feel assured that at least a tinie tiny part of it was for me! Confused, after praying to Jesus for years and now suddenly praying to Krishna, she touches her forehead after the prayer, taps it twice and kisses her hand gently. I wonder if she says Amen after have said her prayer. I wonder if Krishna would understand Amen!

I can watch myself in the picture too. Sitting on my bed, making additions to the prayers offered. I remember getting my prayers exchanged, like getting a gifted dress exchanged when the size doesn't fit alright! I tell God "If she has prayed this for me You give me that instead, this I'll need only later."

I can watch God sitting there on the dusty shelf as well. He laughs out loud! "You little girl, you are a tiny devil!", He says to me while nodding His head from side to side! I blankly sit with a smile on my face, not understanding whether I should take advantage of Gods good mood and coax further to fulfill my wish or just leave it at the happy note and give Him His time.

I decide to leave it there!

The white cloud floats further showering memories on someone else and leaving me pondering over mine!

I Pray Hard - Part II

2010-03-22T05:55:00.002-06:00

A smile broken out,
A blessing free from doubt!
A prayer answered,
A head lowered,
A promise to keep,
A love yet more deep,
For His merciful ways,
Of making His presence felt!
Thank You good Lord!
Amen!

I Pray Hard

2010-03-22T03:31:00.003-06:00

I kneel before You Lord,
Kneel and pray so hard,
Let the fire remain,
Let it not surrender to pain,
Let the effort be repaid,
Let justice not be delayed!
Allow the soul to win over fear,
Let not the hope surrender!
Be with truth dear Lord,
Be with my truth today!
Amen.

Confessions Of A Girl About To Get Married!

2010-03-19T07:19:00.004-06:00

In case you've ever wondered how/what a girl-about-to-get-married thinks I'll allow you to sneak into my brain like I always have! :)

1) Yes, it is true. I have already decided the color scheme of the entire home that I don't even own yet! (smile)(happy)(smile)
2) I do not any any butterflies in my stomach, no nervous moments, I am so sure that this is what I want! (kaala tika on me for avoiding buri nazar of people)
3) Yes, I do get tiny, almost invisible tears thinking about going away from my parents! I totally adore them.
4) I feel a lot more peaceful from within, like the sun with half open eyes during the sunset.(I don't really know if my partner feels the same!:P )
5) I do enjoy delegating some of my work like booking tatkaal tickets (:P) to my partner but I also enjoy helping him out with his work.
6) I do feel scared of becoming old faster now!(phew)
7) I do feel shy to tell people that I'm getting married :P
8) I feel like dancing.

Will keep adding to the post I guess!

Is this an omen?

2010-03-04T06:47:00.002-06:00

It's been a long time since I blogged. Lots of activity happening in life, lots more to come! Suddenly I feel like learning to play the guitar all over again! Suddenly I feel like visiting Mahablshwar again. Suddenly all experiences have a new feeling to them. Suddenly life is moving too fast, suddenly there are too many stars to watch in the sky, too many songs to catch up on, too many things to pray for!

Is this an omen? I think luck is by my side! Touch wood!

Seven Things People Dont Know About Me!

2010-02-03T23:59:00.003-06:00

Since I've been tagged by Sankalp here comes my post :

1) As a kid I was shy, afraid and never dreamed of breaking any rules. Only when I came to degree college I realized that I don't really believe in what I abide by. That was when I started breaking them all.

2) Titanic was the first romantic movie I watched after I started knowing/realizing about what love is. Of course the definition changed over several times since then. However, I clearly remember replaying each scene of the movie over and over again in my mind when I lay in my bed before sleeping.

3) I have never told my parents how much I adore them. I don't listen to everything they tell me, but I deeply appreciate their upbringing and I believe that my mom is the best mom in this world!

4) I learnt swimming when I was in school. I did a fair job but drowned in my swimming exam! Till date I do not know whether I can swim or not.

5) I cannot balance two wheelers. I cannot ride a bicycle even today!

6) There are two things I really enjoy doing. First is talking! I get extremely upset if I am talking about something and I am interrupted. Second is looking pretty. I love to dress well and try different styles of clothes! If I have the money I'll do a world tour and shop like crazy!

7) Even in everyday life, I keep looking for he connections between random, insignificant events. For eg. if I am thinking of a potential problem and simply turn my head and see a God/Goddess's picture I believe that it will not happen! If I miss a bus I start looking around for the reason of why I missed it! There is this random world of mine where things which are meaningless otherwise get a deep meaning to them! :P

The Ugly Little Adorable Rat

2010-01-28T02:44:00.002-06:00

"Look there it is nibbling away on something it picked up from the trash! Yuck!"
"Oh please, it looks adorable taking those super tiny bites!"
"Actually it does!"
"Shh shh! Lower your voice, you'll scare it away!"

They hid themselves behind the wall and watched me as if they were the rats and I was human!

"It's cute na?"

Ok enough! They're craving for my attention so they better get their share of it.

"Aww..it's looking at us!"
"Ratty ratty come here ratty! Good ratty!"

I'm in no mood of entertaining them any more!

"Shit it's running away!!"
"Come back Ratty, come back!!"

Strange love

2010-01-15T05:19:00.001-06:00

Strange love,
Even though you hurt me I feel blessed, love!
Baby I'm your puppet on a string,
Making me tumble and swing,
Trouble's what you bring! Strange love!

Love the song! Koop - Strange love!

F.R.I.E.N.D.S.

2010-01-11T05:49:00.003-06:00

I have very few friends! I can count them on my fingers! However, the ones I have are total sweethearts :-) I strongly believe that friendship is that relationship which saves you when you are screwed up beyond what a family member would be able to mend!

If you are one of those few you'll know this post is for you :-) Thanks for being born, thanks for being there when I so needed you, thanks for the pathetic jokes, thanks for the advice, thanks for the support!

Yeah, stop smiling now! :-P

Prayer for the Day

2010-01-07T06:34:00.002-06:00

Dearest God,

Please give me everything I want and I promise to try to take care of Your children here on Earth who need help.

I love You God.

Thank You,
Your very own, Meghna.

P.S. : If beautiful hair could come as a complimentary blessing I'd feel so much happier! :)

Truly Madly Deeply!

2010-01-07T05:38:00.004-06:00

What\Who inspires such wonderful lyrics? I seriously wonder! I have never, I repeat never, come across people who can think\express in such a beauiful way!

"I'll be your dream I'll be your wish I'll be your fantasy.
I'll be your hope I'll be your love Be everything that you need.
I love you more with every breath Truly madly deeply do..
I will be strong I will be faithful 'Cos I'm counting on a new beginning.
A reason for living. A deeper meaning.
I want to stand with you on a mountain.
I want to bathe with you in the sea.
I want to lay like this forever.
Until the sky falls down on me...
And when the stars are shining brightly In the velvet sky,
I'll make a wish Send it to heaven
Then make you want to cry..
The tears of joy For all the pleasure and the certainty.
That we're surrounded By the comfort and protection of..
The highest power. In lonely hours. The tears devour you..
I want to stand with you on a mountain,
I want to bathe with you in the sea.
I want to lay like this forever,
Until the sky falls down on me...
Oh can't you see it baby?
You don't have to close your eyes
'Cos it's standing right before you.
All that you need will surely come... "

The Red Drop Of Tear

2010-01-05T02:15:00.003-06:00

Blood red.
Blood red, it trickled down like a lost memory trickles down the world of existence. It need not have been shed, but it was. It was shed on the unfortunate demise of Mr. Darryl.
The forgotten welcomed it into their home, deep down it lay at the roots. At the roots of the big banyan tree. The home of the tears shed. There were many, many indeed. Each carried the reason. The reason that separated the chaste from the rest. They never die. Those reasons. They never die. They will come back, those reasons to cry!

What Do I Want..

2010-01-03T23:26:00.003-06:00

I want to live in every country that exists of the face of the planet for a minimum duration of one month.
I want to write a book on the similarities and differences of cultures and traditions and hence be able to boil down to the definition of a human being!
I want to play with kids and buy them comics with lots of colorful pictures in them.
I want to bungee jump.
I want to be able to feel "Man! This is what I wanted to do for ages! This is what I want to do forever".
I want to experiance more feelings of different kinds. Right now I feel as if it's only drizzling feelings, I Want them to rain on me till I get dizzy!
I want to decorate the interiors of my own house.
I want to chat for a couple of hours with some wise, spiritual guru.
I want to sit by the sea shore and watch the colors of the sky over the sunset!
I want to tell a story about the eyes that told stories!

Happy 2010!!

2010-01-01T05:37:00.001-06:00

It's new year!! Yeyyiii!! I'm in office and boy, am I sleepy or what!!
It's a lovely day and hopefully a lovely year ahead for all of us :)

Kahin Toh

2009-12-03T04:17:00.000-06:00

I'm just in my twenties for God's sake! I should be out there rappling somewhere! What the hell am I doing in this cubicle?

:'-(

SAVAGE GARDEN - Crash And Burn

2009-11-28T06:55:00.001-06:00

When you feel all alone
And the world has turned it's back on you
Give me a moment please
To tame your wild, wild heart
I know you feel like the walls are closing in on you
It's hard to find relief and people can be so cold
When darkness is upon your door and you feel like you can't
Take anymore
Let me be the one you call
If you jump I'll break your fall
Lift you up and fly away with you into the night
If you need to fall apart
I can mend a broken heart
If you need to crash then crash and burn
You're not alone
When you feel all alone
And a loyal friend is hard to find
You're caught in a one-way street
With the monsters in your head
When hopes and dreams are far away and
You feel like you can't face the day
Let me be the one you call
If you jump I'll break your fall
Lift you up and fly away with you into the night
If you need to fall apart
I can mend a broken heart
If you need to crash then crash and burn
You're not alone
Because there has always been heartache and pain
And when it's over you'll breathe again
You'll breathe again
When you feel all alone
And the world has turned it's back on you
Give me a moment please
To tame your wild, wild heart
Let me be the one you call
If you jump I'll break your fall
Lift you up and fly away with you into the night
If you need to fall apart
I can mend a broken heart
If you need to crash then crash and burn
You're not alone

Judge Only Yourself!

2009-11-28T05:11:00.001-06:00

You may not know the innocence deep within, nor the love. Do not judge by mere appearence or behaviour!

I Am You!

2009-11-27T07:10:00.003-06:00

I am that light at the end of the tunnel,

I am the darkness in your soul,

I am your fear,

I am your prayer,

I am the clouds that pour the rain,

I am the lightening tearing that cloud,

I am the warmth holding your tear and your cheek,

I am the the tiny hole that frames your smile,

I am your desire and your discipline,

I am the taste that touches your tongue,

I am the heat that burns your finger tips,

I am the moist memory of that kiss,

I am the dreadful dream of separation,

I am the sight you saw from the mountain hill,

I am the sound of mothers tinkling bangles,

I am the presence,

I am the loneliness,

I am your eyelids that kiss one another goodnight,

I am the diminishing moon trying to be the shape of your eyelids,

I am the twinkling stars of midnight,

I am the dying sun of twilight,

I am the pink of the flamingo,

I am the broken nail of your foot,

I am the blood of your country's enemy,

I am the sorrow of the deads kin,

I am the beggars plea,

I am the murderers guilt,

I am the screw that pulls up your chair,

I am the cushion that puts you to sleep,

I am your confidence,

I am your love,

I am myself,

And yet I am you!

Now Playing..

2009-11-27T03:51:00.001-06:00

Ruck ruck ruckna na,

Juk juk jukna na,

Chalna hai chalte jana hai..

Jeete toh jeete, haare toh haare,

Har dil ko aapna banana hai!

Jhankaar Beats

Lunch Cuisines!

2009-11-25T00:16:00.001-06:00

What should I eat for lunch today? Maggi with lassi or Veg Cheese Grill Sandwich with orange juice?

Let Me Fall!

2009-11-24T06:08:00.003-06:00

It's not always important that you stand strong! Sometimes you are a stronger being if you allow yourself to flow with the circumstances. A winner is he who enjoys the lightness he experiences when nothing is in his hands!

Let me allow the gravity to win! Let me enjoy my fall! Let me allow God to execute His plan and unveil it to me in its time!

:-)

3 Things I hate about Computers and Computing

2009-11-16T03:56:00.003-06:00

Having spent around seven long years studying/staring at computers these are three things I hate related to them :

1) Architecture Diagrams.

Goodness me! Some freaking geek draws miniature shapes with innumerable lines drawn across them and every line virtually crossing every other line and we have to strike sense out of it! And then they say these drawings are to clarify concepts!!! Its more designed to make you feel like a really really small person on Earth. For every bundle of geeky brains who have drawn a visually creepy, crowded architecture diagram, dude you need anti depressant pills!!

2) Kernel

For some reason the word "kernel" sounds like something too far fetched and inaccessible to me. The "kernel", after all, is close to the hardware, isn't it? Well, it better stay there. A chill runs down my spine every time I think of kernel. Somehow reminds me of guillotines use to chop the heads of criminals. Kernels!

3) The Lack of Romance

It's unfortunate that I spend 10 hours of my day in front of a machine so dead! A machine that doesn't recognize my new earrings! A machine that doesn't cheer my successful bug solving, a machine that does nothing but give me a back pain! Only if I could spend all this time with something which was more lively, rather more alive!!!

Test Your Brain

2009-11-03T01:03:00.003-06:00

http://www.testmybrain.org/?page=home

This is an interesting site where one can "Test His/Her Brain"! I received the link long time back but landed up taking the test only today! I took the "Mystery Motion Experiment" as it assured me that it would take only 5 minutes of my time! So here is my result!

I like my imagination score! Yeeeyyiiii :P

Attention Switching Score
You had a score of 12 / 20 for attention switching ability. Based on the results we have so far, the average person who takes this test scores 11 / 20 for attention switching ability.

Imagination Score
You had a score of 16 / 20 for imagination. Based on the results we have so far, the average person who takes this test scores 11 / 20 for imagination.

Enjoyment of Social Interaction Score
You had a score of 8 / 12 for social interaction enjoyment. Based on the results we have so far, the average person who takes this test scores 6 / 12.

I realized I enjoy taking personality and this and that tests a lot. I always want to know something about myself (only the good things though :P )!

Unpleasant!

2009-10-29T05:26:00.000-06:00

Whats that bitter taste on my tounge??

Cough Cough

2009-10-21T00:00:00.001-05:00

I'm sleepy. Caught a bad cold and a cough :-(

bhude!

Happy Diwali

2009-10-16T03:41:00.003-05:00

<[:<))=====<

Once upon a time there was a little girl named Mango. Mango loved the festival of Deepavali and often lit many lights and filled her house with fresh flowers to celebrate one of her favorite festivals! Mango would sms all her friends and run to the phone to receive calls from her dear ones.

Mangos mother would prepare delicious lunch and make sure that all the items that Mango liked are covered in it. Mangos papa made sure that the refrigerator was full of chocolates as he knew how much Mango enjoyed them.

She was pretty bad at making rangoli, our Mango, she couldn't keep her hand steady at all! Nevertheless, with all her enthusiasm and all her spark Mango would spend hours sweating, preparing the best kind of rangoli she could. Mangos sister often mocked her saying "You are scaring the guests away with your rangoli Mango!". They both laughed and enjoyed a lot of Diwalis together.

However, this Diwali, Mango is alone, far from home. The spark however, doesn't die. Even today, as Mango watches the world lit up, from her 9Th floor cubicle, from where buildings, cars, shops everything dissolves into only a speck of light, she knows that this Diwali will be different for her. Different in terms of expression, not in terms of emotion. Different in terms of geographic location not in terms of the connections of the heart. She is alone this Diwali, but she knows that someone is lighting a lite for her, someone is saying a prayer for her, someone is celebrating for her as well!

A very very grand Diwali readers :)

Enjoy your day to the fullest and thank God for all you have at this very moment!

P.S. All the while I was writing this post I Was humming the song "Mere tumhare sab ke liye, Happy Diwali" from the movie Home Delivery!

Now is the Time!

2009-10-14T07:43:00.002-05:00

It's time I should stop being a person and start being a writer! It's time stories defeat situations!

Miracle!!

2009-10-12T08:13:00.002-05:00

I received a mail talking about a little girl who bought a miracle for 1 dollar some cents something!

Here I am waiting for a miracle too!! Just a tinie tiny miracle!

Whats Your Rashee?

2009-10-06T04:24:00.002-05:00

Honestly, after watching the promos on television I decided the movie is going to be boring! However, it was only later hat I realized that it was an Ashutosh Gowarikar (I hope I spelt the name right!) film, that was it I went and watched it. Though the film has received many a negative responses, I personally enjoyed it!

Cast
Priyanka Chopra has done a fabulous playing those 12 roles, one for each zodiac. In no role will you find any resemblance of any previous roles. Harman Baweja has acted well, danced superbly and in many a sequences terribly reminded me of Hritik Roshan!

Story
There is not much of a story, but the idea of representing each rashee through a character is very innovative and quite entertaining! The climax is totally filmy and that is what invites the bad reviews!

Creativity
A lot of creativity has been poured into the movie. Also, a highly researched movie, the gujjus out there will realize the minute details that have been taken care of. There is a symbolic representation of each zodiac before the introduction of the character which is very well portrayed and indeed intellectual.

Music
A treat for the music lovers with Sohail Sens music pretty refreshing. There's one song for each zodiac and hence each mood hence making the count to 13 whooping songs!! From salsa to melody you'll find everything in it. Simple lyrics by Javed Akhtar make it easy to relate to the songs!

All in all an entertaining movie with lots of masala!

I want to feel warm :(

2009-10-06T04:17:00.003-05:00

I want someone to write a song for me or make my painting or recite a poem for me or something special :( I want to mean the whole world to someone. I feel left out.

Am I really expecting too much? Is it too much to ask for? What do you think?

Happy Hearts!

2009-10-01T08:08:00.002-05:00

I'm happy :)

I'm happy for all those people who are happy! I'm happy for each heart that beats for love, for each action that manifests itself into a smile, for each face that turns red, for each prayer said for that someone, for each dream seen with an open eye, for each story that has a prince and a princess, for each mad command that the heart issues!

Often I like a song not for the song but the memory I have attached with it. Let me seal this happy memory with a song too:

Jo barse sapne boond boond,
Naino ko moond moond,
Kaise main chalun, dekh na sakun,
Anjaane raste,
Goonja sa hai koi iktara iktara,
Goonja sa koi iktara,
Dheeme bole koi iktara iktara,
Dheeme bole koi iktara,
Goonja sa hai koi iktara iktara!"

yeeeee!!

Moving On

2009-10-01T00:02:00.002-05:00

The world is finally moving on!

Nirma has finally changed its ad from

"washing power nirma (2)
doodh si safedi, nirma se aayi,
rangeen kapade bhi khil khil jayen,
sab ki pasand nirmaaa..
washing powder nirma (2)
NIRMA!"
to some instrumental something.

In memory of the ad I request all my readers for a 2 minutes silence!

The Jazz Trance

2009-09-24T05:44:00.003-05:00

The trumpet boldly reverberates into my veins. I feel all my muscles loosen up. The saxophone along with the drum beats slowly spread the musical drug in my body. There is a particular lethargic energy to the music. I feel both relaxed and extremely excited at the same time. The vibraphone tinkles by the notes of the piano. The entire experience is magical with the music alluring me and binding me to itself! The instruments totally complement one another and together seem to complete the universe. The notes take their own luxury and time to complete making the music sound like an elongated heaven. It's as if the notes, with their own free will, are performing a dance to seduce the skies to come and kiss the seas, so to steal the horizon from them!

Gradually the music plays slightly faster, still retaining the beat. Silence! After the peak follows a silence for a split second! Then again the same dragged notes. I feel as if I have come beyond myself. A peak where I was a complete me. The silence pushed me out of my absolute completeness and here I was, unified with the notes, floating in space!

Phew!

2009-09-23T06:51:00.004-05:00

I feel tired. I worked well yesterday so wasn't very busy today. Plan to leave early from work today!

Yawn!

P.S. My Tamil roommate pronounces khoon as koon. It sounds funny.

Dull

2009-09-16T05:03:00.003-05:00

My head is hurting! Since morning all that I have done is extracted the S60 SDK and S60 sources. I guess it'll consume the night as well!

Have been hearing the song "Sindbad the Sailor" from Rock On and have developed a special liking for it now! Also, ofcourse, in my playlist is Kylie Minouges Bollywood debut Chiggy Wiggy :P

I am losing it, but wait, am I?

Soulmates

2009-09-14T00:18:00.004-05:00

While I lay awake in the darkness yesterday, pondering over tidbits of nothing, something struck my mind. It was the realization of what soulmates are!

If you don't believe in love or God or 'foreverness' or soulmates don't bother to read further, however, I know if you've come so far you will go further :) so come along.

All your life you will interact with zillions of people! You will like some, you will hate some. What decides whether you like a person or not? It's your body. It's your five senses. You like a person if you like to listen to what he says, see him , touch him, okay I will not go into smell and taste :P The point is that all your friends, colleagues, neighbours, classmates are judged by these five senses. According to what these senses tell you, you'll like or dislike a person. A soulmate however, is beyond the judgement of the body. A soulmate may not appeal to your senses but you will always crave for the presence of that soul. That soul will complete you, put to at peace with yourself! That one sole will nullify all your weakness and together the two of you will become God himself!

That was my theory of it. I went through some more theories from possibly wiser people. I was amazed at the idea of it.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Soulmate#Theories

Any other interpretations, theories, suggestions are very welcome!
Enjoy!

My New Look!

2009-09-10T02:00:00.003-05:00

Wow! I'm proud of the new, young, energetic look I managed to give my blog! Isn't it nice?
The best thing is the fish tank! I have ten fishes in my tank. I've named them. Here are the names :
1) DJ
2) MJ
3) Jimmy
4) Loy
5) Toy
6) Tinky
7) Princy
8) Ella
9) Jeff
10) Shri

:-) nice na?

Please do feed my fish when you visit my blog. You can do that by simply clicking in the water. I'm sure they will like you if you feed them :p

A Theatrical Start

2009-09-09T03:32:00.007-05:00

"Alone in the lab at 2:30 AM, working and listening to random songs on Pandora. Pandora amuses me by playing Akon - Lonely! I scramble to find the mouse beneath the heap of papers to change the track and find someone online in need of a hug!"

Something inside me immediately makes me talk to her. I have a brief conversation with her, subconsciously trying to cheer her up. She must've thought I'm a good guy. She did indeed! Leaving her happier than before, I continue with my work. I wanted to complete everything within one hour so that I could get some sleep before tomorrow mornings lecture at 10:30 AM. Amidst the thick darkness I sit alone with narrowed eyes and a fixed, concentrated look. I sigh!

It's 3:40 AM and I'm almost finished. Another 15 minutes and I'll go home. Just then I freeze in astonishment. Something hits me hard within. Suddenly, from nowhere, while still staring at my papers with innumerable complicated figures and numbers, a thought pierces itself through my flesh, right to my heart.

Home? Where is home? What made me talk to her online? I didn't need to. I was busy, over occupied, tired and exhausted! Dozens of people have varied and weird custom messages on GTalk, why should I bother? I must be a very very good man to even bother reading such messages. I ain't working now, simply staring. So? What made me talk to her? Was it her loneliness or mine? Why am I sitting in this lab thousands of miles away from home, alone, in the early hours of morning?

Am I enjoying this?

I push aside all these thoughts, collect my papers together and get up. As a habit I recently picked up, I look at my watch. It's 4:30 AM! Had I been thinking so long? Had I dozed off? I would never know. As thoughts swiftly move inwards and invade my peace I restlessly search for the drug in my bag. It's like a race between the good and the evil. Was I a slave to the evil? The greed? As the thought of leaving everything and returning 'home' creeps dangerously within me I quickly gulp three tablets down my throat. I walk out of the lab as quickly as possible as if it is contaminated with some fatal fungus.

I lay on bed with my arms open wide staring expressionless towards the ceiling and my unfinished work beside me.

(This post is born from the conversation I had with an old friend. He happened to say the first three lines of the post in the most casual manner. However, the lines kind of stayed with me and this is what I did with them. This is not the best story I could have written, but the first thing my heart weaved around those lines. Thanks Ro, for those inspiring lines. :-) )

P.S. The rest of the story is a fictional creation and any resemblance to persons living or dead is purely coincidental.
:-p

A Book Friend

2009-09-07T09:30:00.003-05:00

I realized how badly I need a "book friend". Somehow, I don't really have someone who shares the same level of intellectuality and broadness of thought, enough to share my experiences of reading a book. I so need a book friend. A person who won't think I'm wierd when I discuss philosophy, or that I'm childish when I discuss something funny, or that I'm an emotional fool when I discuss a love story, or that I'm spoilt when I discuss an erotic composition!

I need a book friend! :-(

OMG!!

2009-09-07T00:14:00.003-05:00

I had a couple of topics to post on in mind but everything has evaporated as of now!! The only thing I'm feeling is a sense of wow! I mean it's so damn wow man!! :-)

Just received a call from a very old pal of mine. She's getting married early next year! In many ways this might sound like a normal thing to you but trust me, in more than many ways it's a wow thing to happen! Not many would know the reasons!

Phew! I'm literally scared to receive calls from friends these days. One never know when THE news might pop out! Around two weeks back I was in a similar situation where another friend of mine called to say she is getting married! :D Then I was like oh-my-god! I couldn't digest that like for a week or so and now here I am wondering when I'll seep this idea in!

However, in spite of all the wowing, heartiiieeessstt congratulations to both of you! You both are extremely lovely people and have made many beautiful changes in my life! :-)

Yeeeeyiii!! :-)

P.S. : Dear reader, please excuse any childishness in the above post as it is written in super excitement!! Also, if you've ever related to or enjoyed reading any of my posts ever, do say a tiny silent prayer fro these two lovely people who are about to enter a new world. May their world be filled with joy, love and some more love :-) Amen!

Memories!

2009-09-01T07:24:00.004-05:00

Tainted with memories
of the magical years,
the dreams full of dreams
the merry cheers
holding hands
through silly fears
wondering why
came those warm tears
tainted with memories
of the magical years!

Gem and Joy

2009-08-31T02:18:00.005-05:00

The tiny twins walked by the river bank. The Earth blossomed golden under the rays of that big, orange, floating pump of light. The tinkling sound of the water flowing down the rocks unified with the giggles of the girls. Music.

Gem and Joy, both wore a plain cotton frock, purple in color, with pink tiny petals printed over it. Their curly locks often obscured their cute, little, chubby cheeks. The six year olds played with the water, with the trees, with the shadows, with God himself!

As they fluttered around like playful butterflies, from an island far away, came the boat. A shabby, wooden boat. A middle aged man sat rowing peacefully.
"Jump in" he said, trying to steady the boat that danced on the tunes of the waves.
Impulsively, Gem hopped into the boat. She looked at her sister and chuckled playfully. Joy returned the chuckle with equal enthusiasm. The boat rowed away from the river bank.

Gem shrieked aloud in excitement. Joy echoed. The boat rowed further. Gem stood in the boat facing Joy waving her experiences towards Joy. Joy was elated to watch her twin sister in that boat.

The boat rowed further. Gems smile withered. She looked at the man rowing the boat. This is just a game isn't it? Joys head was tilted towards the ground. Her face looked smaller when she grieved over something. She stood on the bank watching the boat go further down the river. Gem now knew this was really happening. She stood frozen, not taking her eyes off Joy. Joy didn't blink either! Joy stood by the river bank till Gem was only a small purple speck against the vast blue of the sky and the river together.

I'm "Bug"ged!

2009-08-26T06:20:00.001-05:00

How come no one posts any comments for me these days ?
:(

Missing Poetry!

2009-08-25T01:29:00.003-05:00

A lonesome walk to serenity,
In search of poetry
That once lived within me,
Far away from noise.

Running the race,
To reach the peak of restlessness,
Stolen of grace
That mankind once had!

The fire of greed within,
Smoked black clouds,
Away from all the sin,
My poetry escaped out.

I'm sorry poetry,
I promise not to taint you again,
To set you free,
From all the impurities within.

I've already walked 4 paragraphs now,
But haven't yet found my lost poetry,
If you come across it somehow,
Ask it to come home, I wait at the doorstep!

It's Difficult!

2009-08-18T05:19:00.003-05:00

"I thought you'd come with me. I though you'd come with me no matter what!", she mummbled to herself as the harsh droplets of noise from a wild angry sky hit her body. The attack was vigorous. Forceful.

She wore a loose black kurti which now clung onto her body tight with fear. An army of water droplets invaded her face and tactfully dripped down her cold face. She occasionally shivered. It was tough to guess what gave her the chills, her lonliness or the ruthlessness of water!

She struggled to walk in knee deep water and with great difficulty reached her destination. She changed into dry clothes and went straight to bed!

Romance?

2009-08-06T05:14:00.004-05:00

Today a friend of mine questioned me "Honestly what do you mean by being romantic?"

Interesting. I guess I've always known what it means without ever having to try to know what it is to be romantic. However, I thought it would be nice to analyze what my own subconscious understanding of "romance" is.

The first step to understanding anything is googling it and that is exactly what I did.
http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/romance

I found a lot of definitions stating ideas like "fanciful" , "imaginary", "red roses"(!!!!) , extra-ordinary", "The group of languages derived from Latin" (??!??!?!) , "A relationship between two lovers" etc. etc.

Honestly, I don't agree with any of the above! In fact, I think some of them are ridiculous! So, what is romance?

Well, romance is a form of energy! It is a spark that can give meaning to your life. It is the feeling that will make you want to sing. It is the feeling that will make you want to celebrate more often. It is the feeling that will make you want to stay happy. It is a feeling that will make you smile when you think about it. It's an excuse to enjoy life. It's a form of enthusiasm.

As I told my friend "Its not a well defined term!". If you know what it is, every object around you will seem to have a story, if not these objects will be simply objects! This reminds me of yet an another conversation I witnessed :

A and B talking.
A : "Aww, you're missing her!"
B (laughs) : "Actually, it's been only a week since she has gone!"
A: "It's been a week!!!!"
B (sounding sarcastic) : "Yeah, its been a week! What am I going to do!"

:D

Nervous!

2009-07-27T05:40:00.003-05:00

She sweated in the air conditioned room. I wonder if anyone noticed that. It meant a lot to her. Not that it was important, but because she had put in so many efforts she really wanted it to go well! The conference room didn't have too many members. The light from the projector hurt her eyes.
"You still don't have the awareness and moves of an expert", she thought to herself, "your moves on the stage should be graceful and confident!" she made a mental note to work on this.
Chin held up high, she started to give her presentation. Her voice surprised her. She remembered a training where she was taught that during a presentation your voice should come from your stomach. She was gifted with that. She didn't need to make too many efforts.
She tried to read the expressions of her audience. Some listening, some judging her work while the others simply judging her!
She went ahead slide by slide. Confidence increased. Ouch! There came the first question! Christ! She listened carefully. She answered. Confidence shooted up!

LOUD

2009-07-10T01:30:00.004-05:00

He rushed. His muscular chest blew apart whatever came in his way. A concentrated expression clung onto his face afraid to slip down in the speed. His teeth gritted, pushing forward the last speck of strength he had. Every step that touched the Earth made him more lighter. He could hear the wind in his head. Nothing could stop his aggression. He fled!

Nice :)

2009-06-19T01:23:00.002-05:00

Thank You! :-)

P.S. : Reminds me of Tejas. He'd sent me "Thank You - Dido" song long back!

Manipulative Managers!

2009-06-18T04:14:00.001-05:00

Do you think managers are manipulative? They know how to bend ones thought process the way they want to?

Lemme Go!

2009-06-17T06:20:00.005-05:00

Tiny droplets of water trickled down her hair. A shiver ran down her spine. She smiled. She wore a simple green checked shirt coupled with a deep blue jeans. Wet from head to toe, she stood thrilled before the mirror. Minutes back she was standing in the house of God, under the black sky that seemed to bend down and kiss her gently. With arms wide open she allowed the rain drops to soak her with the rhythm that they magically weaved. Slowly she lost herself to the graceful motion from the heavens to earth and back to heaven! She blended with the droplets and her body flowed with the water that seeped through the craving Earth. She chose to surrender, she chose to lose herself.

Here she was now shivering in her tiny room that she shared with two friends. She looked at a droplet of water that slowly slipped itself down her cheek. She looked different. Her hair was a darker shade of black when wet. It looked more beautiful scattered than neatly tied. The kohl she applied had taken the freedom to cross its line and touch her soft skin. Her big eyes looked bigger as if they would swallow the entire planet. Every time she blinked her eyelashes swept the diameter of the Earth. It looked as if huge silk curtains had been dropped on a magic performance.

"Where is she?" she thought to herself. "Where is this girl I can see in the mirror? This girl who has nothing unreal to her, no boundaries, no inhibitions, no limits. Where did I leave her?"

"Are you crazy? You'll catch a cold!", her roomie walked towards her with a towel in her hand.
She smiled, accepted the towel and walked away with it.

Where am I Heading?

2009-05-29T03:50:00.004-05:00

No clue! Somewhere where destiny is taking me!

2009-05-18T05:14:00.005-05:00

Dear God,

As I kneel to pray, I wish all pain and grief dissappears from our lives. I pray that time flies by fast and happy days shower laughter on us again. I pray that hearts meet in agreement and differences dissolve forever. Let all of us feel warm, important and taken care of. Keep our health good and help us have faith in ourselves. Show us the light of truth and hold us when we feel betrayed. Give us the patience to withstand and the courage to face any adversity, any grief. Give us the sensitivity and sensibility to understand our loved ones around us. Reinforce our faith. You know You can set many things right and I know You will. I know You want to test my faith and I assure You I will not let You down. I will pray to You till You are satisfied to see how much I trust You. I love You God. I really do.

Lots of warm love,
Meghna

Laughing Buddha

2009-05-13T04:15:00.003-05:00

Honey dripped from the golden skies! A tiny kid shied away from me and ran behind a wall, half revealing himself. I smiled at him. He smiled too. Droplets from heaven gently pecked a kiss on my cheeks. Suddenly, the kid decided he likes me and walked up right before me. I smiled again and knelt down to meet his eyes. He clumsily slipped his hand in his pocket and pulled out a Bounty chocolate. Happily he offered it to me. Taken aback with sweet surprise I accepted the chocolate. He ran away!

Beautiful Lyrics!

2009-05-11T01:20:00.003-05:00

"Arziyaan Sari Mein,
Chehre Pe Likh Ke Laaya Hoon
Tumse Kya Mangu Mein,
Tum Khud Hi Samjah Lo…"

"Tut Ke Bikharna Mujhko Zarur Aata Hai,
Varna Ibbadat Wala Ssarur Aata Hai
Sajde Mein Rehne Do, Abb Kahin Na Jaunga
Abb Jo Tumne Tukhraya To Sawar Na Paunga..."

Forever!

2009-05-08T05:21:00.003-05:00

A whispered promise,
A good-bye kiss,
A warm tear,
An unknown fear,
A million things to say,
A million reasons to stay,
A separation,
Drowning in hesitation,
"Don't go",
"No?",
Hands pulled apart,
With the whistling start,
"Sweetie, I love you",
"Me Too!"

Get Up, Please Get Up

2009-05-06T02:18:00.001-05:00

She frantically looked around. Nothing. Not a soul. She ran through the dense woods, where she was lost for the last 2 weeks, trying to find a way out of it. Dried leaves crunched under her feet with every step she took forward. She wore an ugly gown of scratches and wounds. With torn skin over her left eyebrow and a hurt knee she limped forward as fast and far as she could.

When it started she had told herself to be calm. She would find a way out soon. It wouldn't be so bad. She had to keep her cool. Time had taken it all away. Her energies had worn out with failures and faith shattered with fears. She had spent many a nights crying, scared of the dark, scared of the violent screams of the jungle. What if ruthlessness swallowed her existence forever?

Exhausted she sat down. She was breathing hard gasping for air. Her lungs pained. Her eyes swept the area around her. The blue of her eyes was slowly surrendering to the powerful red of fatigue. She wanted to get out of there. Somehow. She thought about how happy she was just a few months back. She thought she had everything and things would always be good. Now, here she was, tired, disgusted, scared and lost. A tiny tear shyly ran down her cheek. She prayed.

I quitely wipe my tears as I watch her struggling for the life she had once envisioned. I pray for her too. Deep down in the darkest corners of my heart a fear lurks, growing stronger with each moment. What if she gives up? What if surrenders to cruelty? What if she doesn't get up and run again? What if the tears freeze? Get up, please get up!

Stand By Me

2009-05-04T04:20:00.006-05:00

"He doesn't love me", she said almost in a whisper. "God doesn't love me too much". She looked up from the ground where she had been staring for the entire conversation.
His eyes were sea blue. She almost expected a dolphin to dive out of them. They looked at her with a lot of affection. Reassurance, the one thing she most needed, poured out from those deep oceans.
"You know things have never been easy for me", she softly continued. "Never". Her stare settled to the ground again. "I still love God, and I really trust Him".
His expression softened. "You should!", his voice was coarse but in it was the love that made her believe in herself. Things would be alright soon. Soon.

The 11th Man

2009-05-04T01:25:00.004-05:00

I wonder how he mussbe feeling! I hate the feeling of if-none-other-then-you! I want to feel important at my workplace! Does the 11th man actualy feel he's needed? Does he actually have hopes that he will be a part of the team someday? Well, I don't! I had read an article about basic needs of human. The last one was that of self acquisition! I guess this job doesn't satisfy that need inside me! I want to do something which only I can do the best! Something that I enjoy doing! Something that's meant for me! God, do something na!

I'm Feeling Sad

2009-04-30T04:54:00.000-05:00

I don't like it here :-(

Happy Anniversary!

2009-04-23T23:49:00.004-05:00

It's mumma papa's 29Th marriage anniversary today! I wish them the most heart-felt congratulations and the warmest of good wishes! I pray that they always stay cocooned in one anothers love and happily spend the forthcoming years in discovering new facets of their love for one another! May God always moisten their love with the humid warmth of care and incorporate laughter and joy in every second they spend together! May the fragrance of their selfless love spread a smile on everyones face!

Mumma, pappa - muaaaaaahhh!! :-)

Unprofessional

2009-04-22T04:44:00.003-05:00

5 things I wish I could do but don't because they are "unprofessional" :
1) Send hate mails.
2) Scratch your head while talking.
3) Spit in the eye of the one tormenting you.
4) Wear yellow nailpaint.
5) Use the three magical words - "Go to hell!".

PS : Ordered in ascending order of priority, the first one being the highest.

Yawn!

2009-04-21T01:16:00.002-05:00

I'm bored!

Happy To Be At Work!

2009-04-17T01:21:00.004-05:00

The sun shone with a loud, happy laughter filled with energy. A usual morning with it's most unusual pride and spirit geared up. When I woke up, the ladies had already painted the mesmerizing rangoli with white powder outside their homes. The geometric designs with perfect symmetry managed to steal my attention as always! I looked around to find people bustling with energy to get to work. A kid in the opposite balcony, with half closed eyes, sleepily brushed his teeth. He looked cute!

The roads were buzzing with corporate workers with their i-cards around their necks in pride. Vehicles crawled all over the place hurriedly. I waited for mine. The usual beep at the office entrance and my favorite coffee machine were ready as usual to greet me. The busy passages, the intellectual conversations, the elite appearences, all was just right.

"Everything is in place", I thought to myself. Silently, I said a prayer, "It feels good to be at work!"

P.S. : This space deserved a happy post after all the weeping and 'tear-shedding'.

That's Not Good Enough!

2009-04-15T02:23:00.002-05:00

I sat nervously after letting my heart out before them. They all stared at me in disbelief! Peter looked angry while the rest of them drowned me in the disappointment that flowed out of their eyes. I wanted to scream in agony.

Peter broke the silence, "This can't be it, are you out of your brains!". I simply stared into nowhere. I was feeling something inside that I couldn't express in words. I wanted to be trusted. Sameera spoke next, "Look, I think you should reconsider this stupid decision! It's kind of ridiculous!". I could feel something within me crumble to pieces. I thought Sameera would understand me. "I would have never done this, how could you even think of doing such a thing!", Merlin continued.

I swallowed despair. I wanted to weep bitterly but I didn't. Not before them. Maybe when the darkness of the night synchronizes with the black within me I would allow the tears to run down. I felt a thousand knives cut my soul and the warm red flow warmer in my head. I could feel a part of me fighting to surface while I broke my finger nails to pull it back with all my aggression. I could feel a part of me fall on the floor with a loud sound and open eyes that looked dead. I could feel a part of me pleading to be trusted while another part refused to ever be awaken by love or hatered again.

A razor sharp tear sliced its way out of my jail and went tearing my cheek all the way.

Do Hell With You!

2009-04-13T01:13:00.000-05:00

Do hell with you!

Bhude!! X-(

Readers Choice ( II )

2009-04-08T07:19:00.003-05:00

Well, I owe you guys an apology for the late post, but it's time I write something for my readers! I'll go with 25 things about myself which others don't know about! The rest of the suggestions will follow! I doubt I can recall 25 at a go so I'll stick to 10 and add to the list later if I remember any further.

Well, so here goes.
1) As a child I hated eating food because I was too busy exploring the rest! I've eaten pencils ( with the lead inside) , erasers, sand, shells, wall paint, chalks and paper! I like the taste of sand the best among all!

2) I was ( am ) terrible with geography and directions. I often asked my sister whether the Sun was inside Earth or Earth inside Sun. After she explained the entire solar system I would smartly say " No, I know all this, but you didn't answer my question, the Sun is in the Earth or Earth is in the Sun?"!

3) We had a subject PT ( Physical Education ) in which I failed in the 7th grade . My parents met the teacher. The next term I scored the highest in it!

4) I have never, I repeat, never been beaten by my dad.

5) There are a few more failures tagged to me. I hated drawing. My parents made me attend drawing classes because my sister excelled at it. I gave my Elementary exam in drawing and passed with a 'C' grade. After that I successfully failed in the Intermediate exam! Well, that's more of an achievement than a failure! :-p Now, I often paint abstract stuff, which, from my eyes has a lot of meaning to it!

6) I love to get filthy at times! My mom believes I was a piglet in my last birth! I love muddy roads that monsoons bring along with them! This doesn't hold true when I am wearing something new!

7) In school I was a super shy kid, diploma college made me mad, degree taught me how to enjoy life! There are a lot more things I learnt in my degree college beyond C++! I'll have to write a special post for that!

8) The first night I spent alone and away from home (at the age of 23!) I cried like a baby! I hated that feeling. I felt as if I would never be alright! Today I am glad I was wrong!

9) If you ask me my favorite color, actor, song I'll never be able to answer you confidently! Surprisingly it's never constant for me. I find it strange when people can like something constantly all their lives! I've found a way out of the embarrassment, I say "My recent favorite is ... ".

10) I never tip the ladies who give me a haircut. I feel awkward to do so and I fail to understand why!

Well, ain't I interesting? :-)

It Rained Last Night!

2009-04-07T03:40:00.003-05:00

One of the few things that never fails to make me feel good is rainfall! I have a strange relationship with the rains! I feel like an incarnated form of rains! It's a feeling of a gorgeous reunion of two souls after bearing the brunt of three ruthless seasons of seperation!! It's like our souls swirling around one another while the clouds thunder in applause and the world sways in a merry celebration on a high note!!

It's a strange thing that I am named after something that I am so fond of!! Anyways, enough funda, lets make it list of 10 things I like about the rains :

1) The touch of the wind.
2) The smell of the soil.
3) The breezy dance of the Gods!
4) The touch of tiny droplets of nector on my open palms.
5) The sound of raindrops hitting the ground.
6) The chill in the atomsphere.
7) Heads sccoping as a surrender to tinnie drops of nothing but water! (Worth noticing!)
8) The realization of the existance of something/someone more powerful than us!
9) Drawing shapes from the water droplets collected on the window railings in the morning! The best kind of art I indulge in!!
10) Watching a freshly washed Earth!

Thank You God for making it rain yesterday night! :-)

Super Katti With Everyone!

2009-04-01T03:52:00.001-06:00

When I really need someone, no one is there for me :(

To My God

2009-03-31T06:01:00.005-06:00

"Arziyan saari main, chehere pe likh ke laya hoon,
Tumse kya mangun main, tum khud hi samaj lo"!
The ocean is getting noisy God. The trees are frantically swaying like wild
horses revolting on the sharp slash of a whip. Dark clouds blacken the slightest drop of clarity. I can see a distant figure deep in the ocean waving a hand for help. "Shit, it's drowning"! I want to help but I am too small to do so. I narrow both my eyes in concentration to focus on the figure. I immediately know who it is! It's happiness!
I am watching the figure drown in despair. Suddenly a warrior ray of sun
tears the cloud apart and spreads like a smile over the place. I raise my eyes from the drowning figure to the victorious ray of hope. Soon, many a tiny rays fight through the darkness! The sky looks like a gold studded saree that the goddess of purity wears!
Everything seems to calm down. The trees turn gold and the ocean a collection of glittering stones! I search for the figure. Happiness seems to have settled in each dew drop, in each pattern on the butterfly's wing!
Be there God, in my heart, as love, as peace, as forgiveness, as truth, as
courage, please be there!

Who?

2009-03-30T04:44:00.002-06:00

I wonder who has written the first ever "Hello World!" program irrespective of technology! He could have made it a patent! "Basic program" in IT is a synonym to "Hello World"!! How cool is that!

Run Dear, Run!!

2009-02-26T23:53:00.004-06:00

She looked behind cautiously. No one around. The hallway was dark. She looked kind of cute! She wore denim that lingered just below her knee. A perfect white t-shirt, loosely fit, reading "Pepe Jeans", her favorite brand! A green and black colored bag hung on her shoulders. One big bottle of water stuck out the half open bag! She wore white sporty looking shoes. Her hair, tied up untidily often mischievously fell on her face. She jogged out of the dark hallway without making the slightest of sound. After every few steps she turned around to make sure no one was watching her. Her heart was beating in her head.
She saw a big iron gate, a very old one, a very strong one! She ran faster towards the gate! For a second she thought her next step would be in the air and towards the sky!!! A smile suddenly trespassed across her face! She squeezed herself out of the gate! She was out of there! Out of there forever!
Twilight had just set in and the birds warmly sung welcome songs. The road ahead was empty and smelled of freedom. It was the same road on which she had walked for years, but today she looked around as if she was in wonderland! She walked further from the iron gate. She didn't turn back even once, she didn't miss anyone, at least not yet! The sun peeped in thinking "Where did she get so much courage from?"! Gradually a lonely car or two passed by. A song found its way to her lips.
A milkman passed by on a bicycle. "Excuse me!" she screamed. He stopped and turned back. "Can you drop me at the station?", he nodded his head to say "Hop on". She jumped onto the back seat in a weird way to avoid the large cans of milk. The bicycle moved slowly, just right for the pace of the song on her lips! The gentle morning breeze brushed through the dancing strands of hair. She moved further and further from routine. Life was like a toy now. A new toy waiting to be explored.
She jumped into the train just in time. It started with a jerk. Her head hit the wooden seat. "Shit" the girl sitting next to her yelped and reflexively rubbed her head. In a split second they both broke into laughter!

Reader's Choice

2009-02-17T01:23:00.002-06:00

I want to write something, what should I write? Suggest me some topics please.

Hiding

2009-02-10T23:30:00.003-06:00

She sat hiding in a dark corner. She looked down towards the floor. Maybe she was searching for something, maybe she didn't want to see who is coming towards her. Her cheekbones were prominently visible under her eyes and reminded me of the large rocks that stick out over the oceans. Her skin had lost its color. Her lips were pale like the dying smoke of a fire. Her eyes were contradicting the rest of the faded look. They were big. The were black, and they stared with a certain statement, a certain command. Those eyes would make you feel like behaving, feel like being good. One glimpse of her eyes and I said to myself "She's still alive!". Yes, she was still alive. She was still alive in those big eyes.
A flood of new emotions exploded in those eyes the moment she saw me. The rest of her face didn't flinch. I could see a flash of a million memories in them. I think she saw the same in my eyes. I tried to see myself the way she saw me. Goodness! I looked different. I looked alien to myself. Everything that I was once proud of was gone. I had started treasuring new feelings. I didn't know the worth of these new thoughts but I suddenly realized the worth of the ones I had lost! One thing, however, remained the same. My eyes.
I stretched out my hand to her. She hesitated. I waited. Tears had been rolling down my eyes and I hadn't even realized this!

My Right Eye Cried

2009-02-06T03:30:00.001-06:00

I sat alone before my computer screen. That was the only substance that was seeing me. My face was smaller than usual. Slowly a timid, warm tear rolled down my eye. No one saw me. I stuffed my ears with headphones. Above that sound I could hear the sound of loud laughter behind. I didn't turn. I cried alone but didn't turn. No one will ever know, no one cares enough to know.

I miss you ma.

Luxor

2009-01-29T01:33:00.003-06:00

Third post in a day == Inconsolable restlessness

(In whispers)

Close your eyes and take a deep breath in and slowly out. Yes, that's the way. Again in....and out. Going good yet. Yeah c'mon megs you're just the right person. Yeah. Relax, relax every thing's under control. You are good. Very good. Now slowly open your eyes. Feeling better? Yeah? Are you? Now you are man, ain't it? You are feeling so much better eh?

No.

Huh?

No, I ain't feeling any better. Still shitty.

You forgot me na?

2009-01-29T00:51:00.005-06:00

You forgot me na?

Just 'coz I went far,

Left me alone,

Just 'coz I was gone,

Didn't tell me anything,

I was always remembering,

I agree I didn't call,

But I always thought of you all,

You had the means to reach out,

But all you did was shout,

Is this all what we built over years?

Washed out memories in tears!

Silly?

2009-01-29T00:27:00.003-06:00

If i fill red ink in a blue colored sketch pen what color sketch pen would it be?

P.S. : Silly I miss you :( I don't like this place.

BHUDE!

2009-01-27T00:03:00.004-06:00

I am angry.

Balance!

2009-01-22T00:50:00.003-06:00

I feel useful today :) I like it when I am productive at work and find time for myself also. There are so many things to do in life and so little time! I love this thrill :)

Change!!

2009-01-21T03:49:00.002-06:00

I decided I had to change something today! Something! I could do it. I was sure I could.

I changed my beverage!

Typical WeekDay

2009-01-20T07:16:00.004-06:00

06:45 am - Snoring
07:30 am - Alarm goes off.
07:31 am - Haunted by thoughts of bugs left in the code yesterday.
07:35 am - Sleeping + Brainstorming + Daily Activities (:p)
08:00 am - Pulling roomie's blanket off and dragging her to the bathroom.
08:30 am - Call home.
09:00 am - Leave for office.
09:30 am - Swipe In
10:00 am - Leave cubicle for tea break.
10:30 am - Code\Test\Debug\Research\Simply stare at monitor
11:00 am - Code\Test\Debug\Research\Simply stare at monitor
12:00 noon - Code\Test\Debug\Research\Simply stare at monitor
01:30 pm - Leave cubicle for lunch.
2:30 pm - Code\Test\Debug\Research\Simply stare at monitor
03:30 pm - Code\Test\Debug\Research\Simply stare at monitor
04:00 pm - Leave for coffee break.
04:30 pm - Code\Test\Debug\Research\Simply stare at monitor
05:30 pm - Code\Test\Debug\Research\Simply stare at monitor
06:30 pm - Simply stare at monitor
07:00 pm - Gym
08:00 pm - Leave for home.
08:30 pm - Grocery shopping.
09:00 pm - Watch TV
09:30 pm - Haunted by thoughts of bugs left in the code yesterday.
10:00 pm - Dinner
10:30 pm - Dinner
11:00 pm - Dinner
11:30pm - Dinner
12:00 midnight - Sleep
02:00 am - Dream about bugs left in the code yesterday.
03:00 am - Scream in sleep and scare roomie.
04:00 am - Snoring
06 :00 am - Snoring
06:45 am - Snoring

P.S. : Minute details like susu left to the discretion of the reader!

How Many You Have Eh?

2009-01-19T06:00:00.002-06:00

It's weird how I live in so many different worlds. I'm me everywhere but it's a different me every time! It's strange that God gives all of us so many faces and so many roles to play! I wonder how many faces of myself I am yet to discover!
It's kinda fun. It's thrilling! I enjoy nurturing each one of these faces. I enjoy playing each part!

The Flute

2009-01-12T05:28:00.004-06:00

My hands fumbled.
The room was locked. They tried to break through the slightest of hope. There was panic, havock and confusion. It was getting dark. They banged into one another several times and hurt themselves in the panic. Some kneeled down and screamt aloud. The black ones fought hard. They destroyed anyone who came their way. The pink ones cornered themselves and wept. All of them banged the walls with all the force they had. No escape. As the clock ticked they got stronger. As the clock ticked they increased in number. The faster they increased the more chocked they felt. The green ones piggybacked on the black ones and tried to break the doors. The blue and the white ones teamed together and tried to calm the rest down. There was murder, there was birth but there was no escape. The drums played loud and bold. Flute seeped in from the keyholes. They melted in the sound of the flute.
I signed in to my blog and all the doors opened. They flowed out in a harmony with ease and grace.
My thoughts finally flowed out.

Happiness->Satisfaction && Satisfaction->Happiness

2009-01-09T05:17:00.003-06:00

I asked myself a question today. When will I be happy? The obvious answer seemed when I'm satisfied. I asked myself another quetion. When will I be satisfied? When I'm happy! It's like the chick came first or the hen situation!
It feels amazing to see people whom you've known become someone! It's good to see their struggle reach the pinnacle. It feels good to see happiness and satisfaction in them.
Am I losing the spark? Am I getting old in my head? Is the magic in me fading? Is this it? I vividly remember discussing future plans with buddies at college. Most seem to be coming true. Yet all good. The strange part is that I don't remember what my plans were. That portion seems to be erased from my head. Why? What did I want to do? Am I doing that? If not, why? What is good in me? Is it good enough? Is this what I wanted as a bright eyed young kid with a sky full of dreams? I just don't remember. Is life sucking the life out of me? Is my world narrowing down to nothing? What do I want to do? Jesus! I just don't know!

Happy New Year!

2009-01-01T00:43:00.003-06:00

Yeah, so it's new year, ok! Despite all new year wishes and "celebrations" there's something more that I want.
Well, happy new year!

P.S. :- Happy,I miss you, you were nice to me in college!

"Forever" - a beautiful word!

2008-12-02T05:45:00.003-06:00

Try to figure out how I'm feeling from the following words :
1) Rosy
2) Cheese
3) Frill
4) Candy
5) Lashes
6) Moon
7) Pink
8) Whistle
9) Soft
10) Fragrant

Snowwhite!

2008-12-01T03:42:00.003-06:00

I was reading some of my articles written in several different moods, situations and emoctions! It feels beautiful to see how you've grown over years! It's almost amusing to read how some trivial thing meant so much to you then! It feels beautiful to read the comments! People who were there then and sstill are there for you. People who came like a stormy gush of wind and left. People who came like a soothing balm, healed and left.

Today I realize that I've been a blessed child of the All Mighty. My hand has always been in His. There is so much that I have today. So much I can give. I thank you Lord for the abundance of Your love and blessings!

Just as I kneel to pray and shut my eyes I see a house far far away from the crowd and havock. A small house made of neatly placed red bricks. A tiny door welcoming me inside as if smiling at me. A cute little chimney with surprisingly white smoke coming out of it. Royal blue curtains sitting calmly over the glass windows. Green trees and pink flowers dancing in the golden sunlight! Goodness me, I'm getting gooseflesh!

NEW

2008-12-01T03:29:00.003-06:00

What's new about today?
umm..well..my hairpins! Phew!

What the hell! Now what!

2008-11-27T23:46:00.004-06:00

The God's have finally blessed me with a "day-with-no-work" day at office today! What do I do when I'm doing nothing? I blog. Yet, all's nice.
A question has been bothering me since two days. "What is the right way to live?" Damn! Why do I think so much? There have been times in my life (many of late) when I feel afaraid to choose the right thing. I can see this ideal life with ideal people and everything rosy but I'm scared to choose it. Why? Do I doubt myself? Do I have a low self esteem? Do I not trust my own decisions? :(
I have three worlds. My world-world A. A new world-world B and a world which marks the differences between the two worlds-world C. The third world is inside my head, the other two are tangible(I guess!). I'm happy in both of A and B. I am, trust me! C is responsible to map A to B which is a mammoth task to do. That's what scares me I guess. Now I'm here, and then in a split of a second there, and eventually either nowhere or everywhere! Phew!
It's not that important I guess, and I'm often told "don't think so much" but I needed to get it out of my system and puke it onto this virtual paper!

P.S. : At a time like this when Mumbai is at the gunpoint of terror my social awareness wouldn't allow me to blog w/o making a reference to that. Well, I wish I could do something about it, but a minute, can I do something about it even now?

Is it so?

2008-11-27T06:01:00.000-06:00

A very thought provoking article:
http://ashwita.com/zen/peace.php?q=Love+and+Emotions

:) :| :(

2008-11-27T04:38:00.004-06:00

Sometimes I really wonder if I'm becoming what I'm not. There are several changes in me. I cannot say if they're good or not. Whatever! What's bothering me is that will be happy wearing a mask? How long? Am I wearing a mask? Why am I doing so? Where am I? I'm confused and that makes me feel better because I've always been confused!

Anyways the changes that I have noticed in myself are (in the most significant to less significant order) :

1) I have put on weight. :)
2) I don't abuse or curse now. :
3) I bitch a little less. :
4) I often feel matured and responsible. :(
5) I paint very little. :(
6) I blog very little. :(
7) I eat more. :(

My analytical skills have become sharp after a few months of "corporate"!

:) Good
: Dunno
:( Bad

Whats up?

2008-10-21T06:32:00.002-05:00

Yeah, so the sensex is going below 10K, IT companies are laying off, Raj Thakarey is throwing tantrums again, Diwali's up next week etc etc. but nothing's really interesting! Are we moving too fast? So fast that we're loosing the taste of events? Blah!
The one thing I think about the most these days is a stress ball. I'm not stressed, nah not a bit, but somehow I want that stress ball, desparetly! Why? No clue, its just an obsession I guess!
Things I want to do now would include a kadai paneer pizza from Pizzahut, a bed with a white bedsheet, Discovery channel playing A Haunted house, and a good night's sleep. Damn I can't believe its so possible! I want somethings thats possible, not only possible but easisly possible! Blah blah blah! Where am I?

Hakunamatata :)

2008-09-12T06:01:00.002-05:00

"Hakunamata, what a wonderful phrase!" A problem-free philosophy eh! Nice! I like it :) Nice song too. Wow! everything's nice!

PS: I just remembered baba segal and anida dancing around in khakhi chaddis in a hindi remake of the song! Is this just a bad dream or there does exist a song like that!