5 things I wish I could do but don't because they are "unprofessional" :
1) Send hate mails.
2) Scratch your head while talking.
3) Spit in the eye of the one tormenting you.
4) Wear yellow nailpaint.
5) Use the three magical words - "Go to hell!".
PS : Ordered in ascending order of priority, the first one being the highest.