As a child I was a “good girl” besides being shy and way below the confidence levels of other children around me. I was an average student as far as academics were concerned and a complete zero at extra curricula’s. My dad, a very spiritual person, often told me “Instead of wasting time on all this why don’t you invest it in studying”. Result, I killed most of my time instead of investing it anywhere! I do not intend to paint a bad picture of dad. He had made me join karate classes, painting classes and swimming classes. At my karate class even the weakest pupils were thrice as strong as I was. I learnt nothing from there. Even if I did I wouldn’t know because I’ve never put any of it to use yet. The painting classes were lot more gentle. I was the apple of my teacher’s eye. The reason for this was not my extraordinary drawing skills but my shy nature. I never asked him a single question! Eventually, when I got a C grade at my elementary exam and failed at my intermediate exam he realized how rotten the apple was! That was it I never drew after that. I was quite successful at the swimming classes. It was a 15-day course. I remember mom used to sit for hours by the pool to watch me. I could swim on the 14th day! On the day of the exam they shifted us to a different pool. This new pool was slanting, the height from 15 feet to 14 to 10 and so on. I drowned during my exam. All I remember is whistles blowing all around me and water in my nostrils. I have a certificate saying, “Can swim with float”. As if there is a single soul who can drown with one!! Sadism!!
In school, whenever I found a guy cute I ran away from him! Why? I haven’t been able to answer that till date. I was way too scared that I might make a fool of myself! What a jerk I was!
By now you must be thinking that I am a complete loser. Though I do not have any grounds to prove this but no, I’m not a loser. My confidence increased in geometric progression over the years. Now, I like it when I catch people looking at me! There is something in me that everyone doesn’t have. I am not saying this because there is something in everyone but because I’ve felt it. I haven’t discovered what it is but I know for sure it’s there.(vague sentences of floating confidence can be reassuring at times!!)