Monday, October 8, 2007


As a child I was a “good girl” besides being shy and way below the confidence levels of other children around me. I was an average student as far as academics were concerned and a complete zero at extra curricula’s. My dad, a very spiritual person, often told me “Instead of wasting time on all this why don’t you invest it in studying”. Result, I killed most of my time instead of investing it anywhere! I do not intend to paint a bad picture of dad. He had made me join karate classes, painting classes and swimming classes. At my karate class even the weakest pupils were thrice as strong as I was. I learnt nothing from there. Even if I did I wouldn’t know because I’ve never put any of it to use yet. The painting classes were lot more gentle. I was the apple of my teacher’s eye. The reason for this was not my extraordinary drawing skills but my shy nature. I never asked him a single question! Eventually, when I got a C grade at my elementary exam and failed at my intermediate exam he realized how rotten the apple was! That was it I never drew after that. I was quite successful at the swimming classes. It was a 15-day course. I remember mom used to sit for hours by the pool to watch me. I could swim on the 14th day! On the day of the exam they shifted us to a different pool. This new pool was slanting, the height from 15 feet to 14 to 10 and so on. I drowned during my exam. All I remember is whistles blowing all around me and water in my nostrils. I have a certificate saying, “Can swim with float”. As if there is a single soul who can drown with one!! Sadism!!

In school, whenever I found a guy cute I ran away from him! Why? I haven’t been able to answer that till date. I was way too scared that I might make a fool of myself! What a jerk I was!

By now you must be thinking that I am a complete loser. Though I do not have any grounds to prove this but no, I’m not a loser. My confidence increased in geometric progression over the years. Now, I like it when I catch people looking at me! There is something in me that everyone doesn’t have. I am not saying this because there is something in everyone but because I’ve felt it. I haven’t discovered what it is but I know for sure it’s there.(vague sentences of floating confidence can be reassuring at times!!)


lukwhostalking said...

there is a lot i feel strongly about in your post esp about parents.. “Instead of wasting time on all this why don’t you invest it in studying”...parents narrow down the choices for a child. The job of a parent should be to broaden a child's horizons and open his mind to more and more things he/she can do. There is more i can say but i think il catch u on gtalk soon n tell u.

Meghna said...

hey ishan as i said i didnt intend to paint a bad pic of my parents..they've done all they could for me! besides i too hope to catch ya on gtalk soon! Thnks for writing in!!

sneha said...

Meghi...u are an awesome person, as I say my angel frnd :) mil mujhe tu. batati hun how special u r :)

downright crazyyyy!!!!!!!!!! said...

meghna....donno wheter u wld lik it , but v seem 2 hav a lot n common. i hv hd ur tots & feelings , toh it ws neva written down.had a similar childhood , ws a vryyy shy gal . but not de sam nw....anythng but shy.sumtimes i wonder wot made me change dis much . its lik , u hv lived many oter lives & u don any more, still u noe hw it s .