These days I really cannot understand what I feel. The only thing I know is that I feel a million things in a moment. My life is like this huge, huge container of beads. Beads of all colors. I sit and patiently pick out one bead at a time and seperate the colors. Envious green, loving pink, angry red, peaceful white, bright orange. I pick each one out, one at a time. There are too many of them. It's going to be long before I manage to seperate all. I have to be patient. I have to be hopeful.